Facebook Better: Your Facebook Birthday Greetings SUCK!

Written by in Facebook on December 20, 2011
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One of the best things about having friends in Facebook is the notification that one of your ‘friends’ is having a birthday.  I may have forgotten every one of my ‘in real life’ friends birthdays but Facebook has made sure I don’t forget about those that are my ‘online friends’.  While that’s a great thing, it’s also being GROSSLY abused by online marketing types.  You know who they are.  They are not IRL Friends and really not even ‘Online Friends’.  Might be the only time you see or hear from them is when they invite you to their next networking meeting (across the country) or on your birthday last year.  Speaking of which, did they just use your birthday to market themselves to all the visitors on your wall – how dare they! (see super duper special below)

Hey, that’s NOT Me!        I just wanted to wish them Happy Birthday!

Ok, so you are not that evil marketing person, but then again, they are not exactly your best friends right?  Maybe it’s part of your social media plan to reach out to everyone on their birthday, write a little something on their wall?  I’m ok with that.  Honest intentions and all, it’s as good a time to do it.  Does your message just blend in with all the others?

please don't let this come back to haunt me How can you stand out from the crowd?  It’s easy.  What we want to do is find something that is relevant to them.  That means you need to know a little about them right?  Just knowing something they like isn’t always good enough.  For example, my knowing your passion for all things Precious Moments might come off a little creepy as I pop into your stream for the first time.

So maybe it might be better to find something that the two of you shared?  What events you both attended, what pages you both like, what conversations and photos you both were in?

Does that sound like that’s a little work?  Perfect.  You can stop reading this post now and move on.  This isn’t for you. You’ll like this better.  Maybe come back when you have time to read the LIST of Facebook Birthday Don’ts at the bottom.

 

Still Here?  Great!

The first step is to know about the upcoming birthdays.  Facebook doesn’t make it easy.  They’ve hidden the birthdays over on the right side of your home screen and generally only show one for the day.  It’s just a small little box now.

birthdays

the new Birthday popup When you click that box you’ll now get a popup that encourages you to write on their wall.  Not include a photo, not record a video. just text.  Guess what?  Don’t do it!

We’re looking for common ground and we want to make it special right?

The BEST thing you can do is to forget about what Facebook gives you and instead bookmark this URL

http://www.facebook.com/events/birthdays

Click on that link and you’ll be taken to a page that delivers all the birthdays for today, tomorrow, next week and on and on!   go there, Control D or Command D and fire that page up daily when the time comes.  You can start thanking me now ;)

The next step is to find that common ground you both share.  Something that won’t set off the creeper alarms.  This can be done with anyone at any time, it doesn’t have to be their birthday.

Go to their Profile, if they are on the old style or new timeline, look for the little gear and the drop down for “See Friendship”.

see friendship

Click on ‘See Friendship” and the page that builds will be everything that the two of you have shared.  The Page might load wall posts, photos, videos, events.  Sometimes it’s a great reminder of things you’ve shared in the past, other times it might be something you didn’t know yet!  That’s pretty cool.  I’m a photoshop guy or a video guy so my next step is to find something I can photoshop or mention in a video.  For you, it might be an past event or mutual page you’ve liked that triggers something to put in your Birthday greeting.  What you use is up to you and your relationship with the Birthday Boy (or Girl).  It’s just a tool, now it’s up to you on how to use it.

Want something even cooler?  The URL structure is pretty simple for ‘See Friendship’.  It’s you and the friend by name or profile id, but it doesn’t have to be.  You can put together two different individuals and see their friendship!  Don’t believe me?  Try this one: http://www.facebook.com/MikeMueller?and=jeremyblanton That would be me and my friend Jeremy and everything between the two of us that was ‘public’.  On the top right you can browse other friendships and there’s even a box to input two different people and generate another page!

Ok, so that’s how to make your birthday greetings better on Facebook.  For those that need a list…

Birthday DO’s:

  • DO take the time to wish people a happy birthday.  It’s perfectly ok to write more than “I hope your day is a special one”.  Heck, write a paragraph or two.  Can’t think of anything to say?  Maybe you should work on the relationship building a little first then.  Maybe even skip this birthday?  It’s ok. I give you permission.
  • DO take the time to find something that is relevant between the two of you.  You have the tools now.
  • DO record a personal birthday video or image.  If you are a video person and I know not everyone is, but if you did record a video to their wall, not only will it help your post stand out, it’ll also help your EdgeRank.

Birthday DO NOT’s:

  • DO NOT mindlessly copy and past the same text message to everyone in Facebook having a birthday.
  • DO NOT paste the same youtube video on every birthday wall, videos are special but not so much if it’s the same Beatles, Jimmy Buffet or Muppets singing, and the same exact thing you posted on every friends birthday wall.  The same goes for that happy birthday cake and candle image you’ve used 1,892 times in a row.  I lost that ‘special’ feeling when I went over to your wall and saw it again and again.

SUPER DUPER SPECIAL BIRTHDAY DO NOT  – I’ve seen a new trend where an office or team gets together and records a video where they all wish or sing happy birthday (generically).  The video usually has an intro and outro and plenty of branding along the way.  I’m not going to name names (but I could) Listen to me.  I know it sounded like a good thing when you came up with the idea.  I know it’s kind of like getting that birthday card from your dentist signed by the staff.  But believe me, nothing comes off spammier than your posting this on everyone’s wall for their birthday.  Really.  Don’t do it.  If you are doing it, stop doing it.  This isn’t what Facebook or social media is about.  It’s the wrong place and the wrong time.

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Mike Mueller

Mike builds the custom Apps that create the Tabs that make Custom Facebook Pages special. He builds Discount WordPress Blogs and shoots commercial high def video. He's an avid hockey fan, rides a motorcycle (a really fast one), loves strong beer and good red wine.
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14 Comments - Leave a comment!
  • http://www.rerockstar.com Matt Stigliano – @rerockstar

    @MikeMueller I share your pain – I’ve had this happen at some crucial moments in playoffs and it’s a horrible feeling. With Twitter being what it is and me following guys like you, I try and avoid logging on if I have any hockey on the DVR. I know someone will mention the score if I’m not careful.

  • http://twitter.com/RealtorTed Ted Mackel

    I can’t do the DVR thing. If it’s not real time for me I just move on. It’s weird. I wont go to the movie if i am going to be late even if it is only a minute or two.

    • http://AreWeConnected.com mikemueller

      I have to do the DVR thing. There’s just no way I could work off of TVs schedule. If I watch things it has to be when I want to watch (as in when I have time)

  • http://www.facebook.com/jeff.tomlin Jeff Tomlin

    I feel your pain Mike. The game was amazing. In the end, I wish we could have shared that gold with team USA, but doesn’t the universe seem in balance when Canada wins hockey gold?

  • http://www.facebook.com/thejasoncrouch Jason Crouch

    Mike – As I mentioned the other day, I’ve had similar things happen with football games, although nothing of this caliber before. I’m really sorry that your experience was ruined. Almost every NFL game that I watch these days is via DVR (cuts it down to about two hours, incidentally, as opposed to 3.5).

  • Sharon Paxson

    Hi Mike – thanks for sharing this about birthday greetings on FB. I have seen where someone uses the same Youtube video over and over again with advertisement at end.

    • http://AreWeConnected.com mikemueller

      Sharon, Yup!  I’ve seen a few of them now.  Good quality video (production wise) but it gave me the creeps.  I know they were thinking it was a good idea – who knows, they probably still do.  I’d like to see the post where someone says ”They saw our team video we posted on their agents wall (our competitor) and decided to use us instead!”  Not gonna happen.  :)

  • http://www.honeybeeconsulting.com startabuzz

    Glad to say I’ve not seen the spammy videos; I get annoyed enough when all anyone can muster is “HBD.” There are also those who post the same message to EVERYONE no matter whose birthday it is. After 300, 400 times, it grows tiresome (at best). I don’t do video, as words are my thing, yo, but I agree that each message should be unique. If you can’t be bothered to take the extra 30 seconds necessary to do that, then maybe that “friendship” ought to be reevaluated.

    • http://AreWeConnected.com mikemueller

      I’ve actually clicked over to someone’s wall, started writing something vacuous at best and clicked the back button.  We had zero interaction in the past – so why do it?

      BTW: I look up words on a regular basis (like vacuous) because of you!  
      How was that Krampus?

  • Cyndee Haydon

    You are so right – you made my birthday VERY special – you ROCK and what a pleasant surprise to see you do a tutorial on the awesome wish you made for me!!!

  • http://www.SaratogaVoice.com Rick Bonetti

    See Friendship pull down tab is useful – thanks for the tip.

  • MizanHassan

    here were more than 44,000 entrants and 38,000-plus finishers in Las Vegas on Dec. 4 in a night race that began breaking……….

    Discount

  • aliul islam

    There’s a free fb web app that let’s you pre-schedule happy birthday wall posts so you don’t forget your friends birthdays. It’s called birthdayFB. You can use it at http://birthdayfb.com

    • http://AreWeConnected.com mikemueller

      Yes, I saw plenty of apps like that.  But how “personalized” is that going to be? 
      You are still back at Birthday Greeting ts that look like all the rest – or even worse, the tag the app puts on the your greeting gives it away that you were too lazy and resorted to a machine.  Sorry to slam it, but I’m not a fan of automation.